OK, I am Humpty and first thing you need to know is that I don't need to hear any dumb jokes about the Dumpty family. They are distant cousins, .
I don't sit on walls ... and if I did, I'd wait to jump until you were walking by so you could break my fall. So, yes, I am an English Bulldog, about 7 years old. I have a couple of local titles regarding my farting and snorting capabilities, and some folks have even said I am -- quiet possibly a champion at either or both -- so that's exciting. I wonder if I will get a ribbon with my name on it. Just puttin' it out there, but if you are a shrinking violet, you probably don't want to stand down wind (you might wilt). So, I am a low mileage, one owner English Bulldog, about 7 years. No I didn't smear snot and/or saliva on furniture, walls or carpet. Actually, as housemates go, I am (farts notwithstanding) substantially better (I think) than an adult age child living in mom's basement. I really do prefer having my own fan in the summer, but beyond that, I am -- in my opinion -- a truly terrific wingman. So now you are asking "Humpty, if you are such a terrific housemate, why are you out on your own, looking for a new home?" Well, I had a venereal tumor and my owner relinquished me because she could not afford to have it treated. Now I'm over at Blue Lion with Lisa's rare breed Mastiffs (I think my tumor helped me land the gig with Lisa) and my tumor is history/gone/kaput and I am in great condition. Downside was that while I was in surgery, somebody stole my 'nads! Boy, that was not something anybody mentioned in the preop visit with my surgeon. Anyhow, I am a sweet guy, but I am not big in the "play time buddy" routine, so if having two dogs to frolic together .... please know that I prefer not to be a part of that dynamic duo. My health is now great, aside from a dry eye that needs eye drops daily. So if you think my good house manners and my big brown eyes might find a place in your home ... please write to me and Lisa will help with the reply, as my penmanship looks a lot like it was written by a left pawed puppy. Come on, give me a chance! Please?